This year I've made a huge decision.
I'm going to take a six month sabbatical from school. I know this might not sound like a big deal for all you normal people out there, but for me it's pretty major. I've always been a "good girl", always done the responsible thing ("responsible" according to who you might ask. We'll get into that later). I have always put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to school and I've always done very well. Don't worry, I'm not one of those people who can pull of A's without even trying. Sure I've been blessed with a good memory and the capacity to pick up thing pretty fast but everything I have, I've worked very hard for.
I started studying at university right after graduation and went full speed ahead. But lately I just feel very tired. And I knew something was very wrong when I 1. failed three exams and 2. was not that bothered about failing said exams. That's pretty much when I figured I should take a break. I had the most horrible performance anxiety and felt so bad about myself which resulted in me not doing as well as I should, and not doing as well as I should just enhanced my performance anxiety and made be feel even worse about myself.
I really struggled with this decision. As late as yesterday I was convinced that I would return to school. It really pains me to turn down school, it goes against every fiber of my being and who I am, but deep down I know it's the right thing for me to do. I will go back to school after summer as a better, healthier, smarter, more experienced person, and I will the most amazing thesis.
There is so much I'm looking forward to doing these next couple of months: getting my drivers license, working out, getting job, writing, traveling and so much more. I am well aware that there are people out there who are able to get their drives license, go to the gym, and maintain a job, all while going to school. Good for those people. I am not one of them. But I suppose to a certain degree that's what this sabbatical is about; learning to become more like those people. I want to learn how to manage my time better and hopefully I'll learn how to do that.
There are a few specific goals that I hope to achieve:
1. Submit a short story to a competition
2. Get my drivers license
3. Finish my project management course
4. Hand in my paper
5. Working out three times a week
